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Bee-otch of the Day honors are awarded Monday through Thursday; Bee-otch of the Week is awarded Sunday morning on



Name: cocaine and heroin
Age: ageless
Occupation: deadly drugs
Last Seen: everywhere
Bee-otched For: fucking up Artie Lange (and his nose)


Howard Stern is definitely coming again.

For the past few weeks, he's been out promoting his new book, "Howard Stern Comes Again". He's been on multiple late night talk shows, The View and even CBS Sunday Morning, now hosted by the legendary Jane Pauley.

So far, the book has some mixed reviews since it's mostly transcripts from his radio show. But, it's still 100% Howard. And to prove that hell's freezing over, even Walmart and Meijer - two chains that once avoided Stern like the bubonic plague - are both selling the book.

And in other Stern show news, Artie Lange is pumping gas and hauling trash for free.

Yes, that's his occupations for now.

Over the years, Lange has been in trouble with the law because of his drug problems, mainly with cocaine. His drug problems have cost him gigs and especially his stint as a sidekick to Stern.

The reason for Lange doing those odd jobs is because of a judge ordering him to do so. He was busted in January for possessing controlled substances, though he was arrested again this week for violating probation. 

The biggest problem is definitely his nose. When I first saw it, I freaked out. How did it get so fucking flat? Oh, I know, it's the coke and heroin disintegrating it. Plus, he accidentally snorted up glass some time ago, thinking it was OxyContin.

Ya know, Artie had it all: fame, money and so on. He allowed drugs to fuck up his body and his soul. Being fat, diabetic and a junkie, I'm surprised that he's still alive at 51. All I can say is that if he wants to stay alive, he needs the willpower to do so. Yes, he had a tough life without a dad and all, but there's no real excuse to start snorting in the first place.

And I thought looking at those lung cancer victims on those TV ads was bad enough. Rick James was right: cocaine is one hell of a drug.


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