Name:
Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea
Age: 71
Occupation: former wrestler
Last Seen: Tampa, Florida
Bee-otched For: getting the Smackdown by his
former fans
Once upon a
time, there was a basketball team called the
Buffalo Braves.
The Braves
played from 1970 to 78. The team was sold to
John Y. Brown, the Kentucky governor and
then-owner of Kentucky Fried Chicken, who ran
the team so far into the ground that he ended up
selling the team to California-based Irv Levin,
who moved it to San Diego. Renamed the Clippers
- named for the boats that lined the city's bay
- the team was still an underperformer.
And then came
Donald Sterling.
In 1981, the
attorney and real estate baron purchased the
Clippers and then moved them to Los Angeles in
1984. Sterling was considered one of the worst
owners of all sports. The team rarely had a
winning season or even made the playoffs. Plus,
they played in a much older arena than the
Lakers, at least until both teams agreed to move
to the Staples Center when it opened in 1999.
Nonetheless, they've always been the Lakers'
bitch. With names like Kareem, Magic, Kobe, and
LeBron, the Lakers were Saks Fifth Avenue while
the Clippers were Dollar General.
And then, a
miracle happened, thanks to his mistress and her
tape recorder.
Vanessa
Stiviano recorded Sterling trashing her standing
with Laker legend Magic Johnson in a photo she
posted on Instagram. Sterling even told her not
to "bring those people" to Clipper games,
referring to her friends, including people of
color. The recordings made it to the media and
the NBA, who banned Sterling for life in April
2014. Sterling sold the Clippers to Steve
Ballmer, who has done a yeoman's job of fixing
the long-struggling team. Today, the Clippers
are one of the NBA's top teams, with a record
similar to that of the Lakers, as I'm typing
this.
One thing that
Ballmer did to the Clippers was build them a
brand new arena, the Intuit Dome. The $2 billion
facility in Inglewood is just down the street
from SoFi Stadium, the home of the NFL's Rams
and Chargers. The Dome, which opened last year,
is the Clippers' first arena they have had to
themselves since leaving the aging Los Angeles
Memorial Sports Arena in 1999.
Obviously, the
Dome is being used for other purposes, including
concerts and, most recently, the January 5th
edition of World Wrestling Entertainment's
flagship TV program, Monday
Night Raw. This edition marked the show's
debut on Netflix after being on cable TV for
over 30 years. Recently, the WWE realigned its
contracts with the networks that carry its
shows. Smackdown moved
to USA—Raw's former home—while NXT is
now on The CW.
The WWE is in
the middle of a rebuilding. In 2023, the company
was sold to TKO Holdings, which is
majority-owned by Endeavor Group Holdings. From
1982 until 2023, the WWE was either fully owned
or majority-owned by Vince McMahon, who bought
the organization from his father, also named
Vince. Under the younger McMahon, the WWE grew
from a small, regional promotion into the
worldwide behemoth that made McMahon a
billionaire. However, McMahon was forced from
the company he built after it was revealed that
he paid off several women whom he sexually
assaulted and performed vulgar sex acts - such
as him pooping on his victims - on. Also
recently, McMahon paid $1.7 million to the
Securities and Exchange Commission after failing
to reveal his hush money payments.
That edition of
Raw marked a new beginning for the WWE, whose
fans seem to be happy that the McMahon legacy is
now a thing of the past. Many blamed Vince for
the WWE's downfall in recent years, especially
with the dorky TV-PG era, which was rife with
weak storylines and an overall blandness in
comparison to the "Attitude Era" which
revitalized the brand in the late 1990s. McMahon
sought to make the WWE a near monopoly as far
back as when he purchased the organization from
his father, who abandoned him as an infant,
forcing his mother, Victoria to raise him as a
single mother in a dilapidated trailer. At one
point, the younger Vince was adopted by an
abusive man, Leo Lupton, who adopted him, giving
Vince his surname. Vince was sent to live with
his father when he was 12, who was much better
financially thanks to the success of the
wrestling organization that would become the
WWE, which was originally known as the Capital
Wrestling Corporation and the World Wide
Wrestling Federation. However, when the elder
McMahon was dying of cancer, the younger Vince
bought him out and broke a promise that he would
not buy out other wrestling promotions. Well,
the younger McMahon did, and when Time Warner
sold the now-struggling World Championship
Wrestling to him in 2000, he couldn't be happier
to have the world of wrestling to himself.
At least until
he sold WWE to TKO and Endeavor and was forced
from the company he built on a broken promise.
I watched some
of Raw's debut on Netflix and they made hardly
any mention of McMahon. It started with a small
film of wrestling's early days as circus
sideshows and its evolution into what it is
today. The film was projected onto four screens
covering the ring, which collapsed, revealing
the WWE's Chief Content Officer, Paul "Triple H"
Levesque. Throughout the show, several of WWE's
GOATs made appearances, such as Dwayne "The
Rock" Johnson and Mark "The Undertaker"
Calaway.
Both the WWE
and the Los Angeles Clippers needed new
beginnings. It's too bad that the past had to
show up.
During the
program, Hulk Hogan appeared on stage, valeted
by "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart flying
the American flag. The whole crowd booed Hogan,
proving that he's as warped and scratched up as
an old vinyl copy of The Gentrys' "Keep On
Dancing" that was used as a frisbee (and as any
hardcore wrestling fan knows, Hart was a member
of that 1960s band, whose song peaked at #4 on
the Billboard Hot 100 60 years ago). The
reaction to Hogan on the program is a far cry
from the positive reaction he got when he
appeared at both the Republican National
Convention and Drumpf's rally at Madison Square
Garden several months ago.
Many wrestling
fans are comfortably on the left politically,
though the McMahon family bows to Drumpf, and
the aforementioned Undertaker is also a Repuke.
The Rock has been all over the road politically,
voting for Obama both times, though he claimed
that he voted for Joe Biden in 2020 but
regretted it. Ari Emanuel, the president of
Endeavor and CEO of TKO, is a Democrat and the
brother of Rahm Emanuel, the current US
ambassador to Japan and former Illinois
Congressman, Chicago Mayor, and White House
Chief of Staff under Obama. The website and
internet app Goods Unite Us list the WWE as a
100% Republican company with 98% of its
donations coming from senior employees.
It's no secret
that many in the wrestling community are still
angry at the WWE for allowing Hogan to still be
looked upon as a legend even though he also was
caught being racist in a secret recording made
ten years ago. In that leaked tape, Hogan was
caught using the n-word multiple times. When it
was made public, the WWE cut Hogan from his
contract and eliminated most references to him
on their website. Hogan apologized and
amazingly, many black wrestlers announced that
they had forgiven him. One black wrestler,
however, Mark Henry claimed that he was an
exception to the rule because Hogan "never tried
to fix his problems". Hogan even claimed that he
only used the n-word because all of his friends
in Tampa - where he lived - used that
word.
When Hogan was
fired from the WWE, many fans pointed out that
even Vince
McMahon himself used the word during a skit on Raw many
years ago. So, Hogan was
reinstated. But, it was too little, too late.
Hogan has appeared on WWE shows many times over
the years only to get booed by people who look
at him as a douchebag racist Drumpf supporter as
opposed to being the man who helped to make
professional wrestling the international pastime
it became.
Yeah, I know.
People of my generation still gush over Hogan's
rivalry against Andre the Giant at the 3rd
Wrestlemania. Plus, many of his fans followed
him to WCW where his nWo stable helped them
achieve record ratings. This helped McMahon's
rival Ted Turner build his wrestling dynasty
until he sold to Time Warner who ran WCW into
the ground it created the opportunity for
McMahon to transform the WWE into the extreme
"Attitude Era" where matches got more violent,
plus women wore fewer clothes. Many times,
McMahon did his damndest to sweep Hogan under
the rug, only for him to reappear.
Not only that,
but some are still angry that it was Hogan who
brought down the website Gawker because of a
leaked video of him having sex with Heather
Clem, the wife of radio personality and former
Hogan friend Bubba the Love Sponge. The video
was given to Gawker, who was forced into
bankruptcy after being forced to give Hogan $115
million.
Yeah, the
Hulkster is a legend. But, he's still a Grade-A
asshole. Why the WWE still embraces him is a
mystery. Granted, he got wild applause at those
Drumpf rallies because he has the gall to wear a
MAGA hat. But, that doesn't mean that all WWE
fans voted for Drumpf, either.
Wrestling
shouldn't have to deal with politics in most
cases. The same goes with most sports, though
when Donald Sterling was fighting to hold on to
the Clippers, he pointed out that many sports
team owners were also bigots. He mentioned the
DeVos family, which owns the Orlando Magic. They
spent millions fighting against pro-LGBTQ+ laws
in several states. They even helped to shutter
Grand Rapids' strip clubs in 2006 thanks to a
city ordinance they reportedly helped fund. It
might explain why in 2016 when a mass shooting
at the gay Pulse nightclub occurred, the DeVoses
spent over a million dollars aiding victims,
plus the fact that they installed a banner at
Amway Arena in Orlando honoring the 49 people
killed in the massacre.
There's also
the late Larry Miller, owner of the Utah Jazz
and Salt Lake City TV station KJZZ-14. From 1995
until 2000, the station was affiliated with UPN
but dropped the mini-network because Miller
thought that it was too black for the market.
Miller died in 2009 and his estate has since
sold KJZZ to Sinclair in 2016, which also owns
CBS affiliate KUTV-2 and KMYU-12, the local
MyNetworkTV station. The Millers sold the Jazz
in 2020 to billionaire Ryan Smith, who owns the
NHL's Utah Hockey Club (formerly the Arizona
Coyotes) and is part-owner of the Real Salt Lake
soccer team.
It's no secret
that no sports team has perfect ownership. Even
my Detroit Lions suffered some controversy in
2003 when late owner William Clay Ford hired
head coach Steve Mariucci without following the
NFL's "Rooney Rule", an edict that forces team
owners to interview people of color regarding
coaching positions ahead of whites. The law was
named for Dan Rooney, the late owner of the
Pittsburgh Steelers. When Ford hired Mooch, the
NFL fined the team $200,000. In the end, Mooch
was canned after two seasons with an abysmal
15-28 record. Ford died in 2014 and his
daughter, Shiela now owns the team, which is now
one of the hottest teams in the NFL under coach
Dan Campbell.
What's even
more pathetic is that many of Hogan's fans are
happy that as I'm typing this, Los Angeles is
burning down. Over 26 people have all died and
thousands of homes and businesses have all
burned to the ground. Some have posted idiotic
memes showing Hogan ripping his shirt off in
front of a burning house with the caption "God
is a Hulkamanic".
You know, I'm
getting fucking sick of all these douchebag
asslickers of Drumpf being all happy that in
their mind, everyone whose home burned down in
the wildfires was all against him. Dennis Quaid
is a Drumpfter and even played Reagan in a
stupid movie from last year. His home burned
down. Same with James Woods, another asslicker
to Drumpf whose home burned down in the fires.
Mel Gibson, a noted anti-semite, also lost his
home.
On my way home
from my mother's on Wednesday last week, I
decided to listen to a little bit of Mark
Levin's shit show on AM talk radio. He's another
douche happy that Los Angeles is burning. He
even cried about how minimum wage is destroying
America especially California. It reminded me of
the one and only time I got a raise from my
former boss, with whom I worked for 10.5 years.
He took me to Brann's Steakhouse for an employee
evaluation. On the way back to the shop, he
wanted to listen to Michael Savage, but
thankfully, WOOD 1300 was airing a hockey game.
Bear in mind that Savage - like Levin - is an
angry, homophobic, lying sack-of-shit Jew whose
ideals are identical to Hitler's.
Yes, some
people who lost their homes in the California
wildfires were mega-wealthy, like Paris Hilton.
I'm actually happy certain folks lost their
homes, especially Heidi Montag, who shot herself
in the ass in 2009 when she appeared in a Playboy pictorial
where she hardly appeared nude at all. Her
excuse? "I'lL sHOw mOrE iN My NexT iSSuE!" Well,
it was her only issue. Now that 1) Playboy is
all but nonexistent, especially after they went
the no nudity route several years ago and 2)
Heidi is now a mother and pretty much a
has-been, karma's a bitch for her. At least she
still has Spencer, though once a woman has a kid
with another man, she becomes dead to me.
You see, most
of the people whose homes were destroyed in the
California blaze weren't rich. They were
hard-working people with families and jobs that
disappeared. The only crime they committed was
being in an area where it doesn't rain often and
is prone to fires, mudslides, and other weird
weather. I predict that many will have no choice
but to move, and I think that my home state of
Michigan will be a top choice for some.
If there are
Hulk Hogan fans out there, then why didn't they
go to defend him when he was booed on Raw?
Sorry for them, but they're in the minority now.
The WWE has new management and they don't need
to make the same feckless mistakes they've been
making for years. If a good guy is being booed,
they don't need to keep putting him on a
pedestal because he's now the bad guy. Hulk
Hogan hasn't been relevant in years and it needs
to stay that way.
The question
is, what is the Hulkster gonna do when reality
goes wild on him?
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